Sometimes a discount isn’t enough to make up for low quality service and bad customer support, and all you want to do is cancel your account and move on. This can be a time-consuming headache, but it doesn’t have to be! Follow these easy steps to cancel your account.

Step 1: Call your provider’s retention department

Call the phone number on your bill, and either press the correct number for “cancel services” in the automated system, or simply say “cancel service”. This will take you to the retention department. Bear in mind, it’s called the “retention department,” not the “cancellation department.” They’re more interested in keeping you on the hook than making your life easy! Once you’ve reached the retention department, they’ll ask you why you want to cancel, and your answer will determine how much of your time this process is going to take.

Step 2: Prepare an excuse

When you’re asked why you want to cancel your service, you need to choose your response carefully. No matter what you say, the retention representative on the other end is going to start making you offers and trying to convince you to stay. This is the sweet spot for negotiating a discount, but if you truly just want to cancel, it becomes really annoying.

The best way to avoid this back and forth is to is to tell the rep that you’re moving to a location where their services aren’t available. Whether you tell them you’re moving to the next county over or you tell them you’re moving to Europe, there’s really nothing they can offer you if your reason for cancelling is that you simply can’t use their service where you’re going.

Step 3: Be kind, but firm

Remember that the person you’re talking to is a person, and that person has no control over the price or quality of your service. Their only job is to keep you from cancelling your account, but if you’re respectful and you insist that you just want to cancel, the retention rep will more inclined to make your life easier. The most important thing is to stick to your story. It can be tempting to vent your frustrations and tell the rep why you’re really cancelling, but then they’re going to offer small discounts and freebies and you’ll be back to square one. Stick to your story until you’ve cancelled your account.

Step 4: Return your equipment

The retention rep will either tell you what equipment needs to be returned (if any) and how to go about doing so, or the provider will send you a letter or an email with instructions. Be sure to follow those instructions, returning any equipment within the timeframe they specify in order to avoid any additional charges.

Step 5: Confirm the cancellation

Once you’ve returned all of your equipment, call your provider again to confirm that your account is indeed 100% cancelled. Ask if there’s a final balance due, and ask if their system shows any unreturned equipment. If your account isn’t completely cancelled, ask the rep to make it that way, and ask if there are any additional steps you need to take. Take care of any steps you may not have been made aware of previously, then call and confirm your cancellation again.

And that’s it! Cancelling your account with one of your providers certainly isn’t the quickest thing to do, but if you follow the steps in this guide, it’ll be a piece of cake.